DEFINE YOUR NEXT CHAPTER

As I sit down to write my November blog, my heart is filled with gratitude for so many reasons. It’s that time of year to take pause and feel grateful for our blessings. This year, I have two especially meaningful ones to share. The first is simple yet so special: my three daughters are all under the same roof now that college holiday breaks have begun. For the next nine weeks, our home will be filled with their laughter and energy. My oldest is wrapping up her senior year of college, my middle daughter has just finished her fall semester, and my youngest, a high school senior, is thrilled to have her sisters back. I can’t express how wonderful it is to cook for them, watch movies together, and connect face-to-face instead of through screens. This time together is a precious gift, and I’m savoring every moment.

If you’ve been here a minute, you know that I’ve been deeply immersed in the process of writing, editing, designing, and publishing my first book, The Almost Empty Nester. It was a challenging but rewarding journey, and I’m grateful for the experience. One of my key takeaways has been the importance of embracing imperfection. I’ve come to realize that perfection is not the goal; rather, it’s about having courage to work on a dream and finding joy in the journey. I think at 54, I’m finally starting to get it.

Two months ago, when my UPS driver, Fonzi, backed down our long driveway yelling out of his truck “Karla, it’s here! It’s here!”, I felt pure excitement. Holding my book for the first time, I was proud and hopeful about the impact it could have on mothers everywhere. However, upon settling down for the evening with my book and a hot cup of tea, I discovered two small mistakes, and one was on the first page! Disappointment and panic washed over me immediately. How could this happen after all the meticulous effort myself and my incredible team put into combing over every detail?  (Spoiler alert: The rest of the book was beautifully written, visually inspiring, and grammatically correct just like I had imagined it would be….whew!). Turns out there was no need to panic, but I did learn a valuable lesson as a new author.

I remembered Brené Brown’s wisdom about taking imperfect action, getting into the arena of life, and daring greatly. I now realize that perfection is an illusion, and often the reason we never get started in the first place. When you do have the courage to begin a new journey, minor setbacks are powerful reminders that progress and action are what truly matter. We have since fixed the misspelled words in the book, and it reminded me of one of my favorite passages from Theodore Roosevelt that my late father shared with me:

“The Man in the Arena”

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

—Theodore Roosevelt

This Teddy Roosevelt quote is a powerful reminder for me about my own journey. When I stepped into the publishing arena over two years ago, where new authors are often battered, bruised, and sometimes never discovered despite their valiant efforts, I realized in that moment I wasn’t alone. My incredible team – my publisher, my web designer, my cover designer, my interior designer, and my amazing editors all stood right beside me, each playing an essential role in this endeavor. And they wanted nothing but the best for me. They were also marred by dust and sweat and blood (some of which I probably caused as a new author learning about the editing process), and they continued to rise to the challenge and support me on every step of this journey. At that moment, my perception completely flipped, and I was filled with gratitude. I felt lucky and well cared for by my team. I felt supported. They believed in me, and that matters so much. The two little mistakes didn’t matter. My team did. They all did. Each and every one of them. It wasn’t about achieving perfection; it was about the perseverance we showed together. Their support and dedication fueled my determination to quickly fix these tiny hiccups (which I soon learned is fairly common in the editing process) and bring this book to life, proving that the journey is just as important as the destination. 

As you start to think about your life, have you been sitting in the bleachers, or do you want to step into the arena and dare greatly? Do you want to do something in your Empty Nesting years that you’ve never done before? That could be anything such as changing your job, learning a new hobby, or maybe it’s just prioritizing you for the first time in a really long time. Taking action, rather than merely dreaming about it, is where the magic happens. It’s where life’s rewards are dwelling, waiting for us to discover them. Two and a half years ago, I, too, was in the bleachers and had been for many years. But a spark inside me was set off one morning at 3am. I woke up, had an idea, dusted off my courage that had been sitting on the shelf, sat down in my kitchen and wrote the outline for my book.

I wrote this book and companion journal for mothers like you and me, everywhere. The ones that have kids leaving the nest and want to step into their next best chapter. I believed a book like this was way overdue and needed by so many mothers, and I’m grateful I saw it through to the end. In doing so, the rewards have been far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I have met so many incredible moms that read my book and dove deep into the reflection exercises within. It’s been an honor to hear from each of them and how this book has impacted their lives. Knowing that my readers are excited for their Empty Nest Future is such a gift. I believe in my heart, if you give your gifts to the world, the world will give right back to you in ways you can’t even imagine. And if you get a little beaten up, marred with dust and sweat along the way, don’t worry about it. Go take a shower, stand back up, and get back at it…and remember to always thank your supporters along the way. I’m filled with excitement for my readers, because it’s such a good reminder of what’s important. It’s not perfection, it’s your unique gifts that lie within each of you that need to come out, imperfectly.

Do you know deep inside that you want to do something amazing, now is your time, and you just need a way to get started? What message and unique gifts do you have within you that you would like to share with the world? What do YOU want for the next phase of your life? What would your life look like if you defined your midlife goals and dreams, and took action on them today? I know the kind of fulfillment you would feel, because I felt it the day I held my book for the first time.

No matter what your goals are, I believe in them, and I believe in you. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to pick up a copy of the Almost Empty Nester and work through the 21 reflection exercises within the book. It’s contains a mini course on how to get started defining your next best chapter. As we approach the holiday season, consider grabbing a copy for a friend or two that you know could use someone standing side-by-side with them as they step into the arena. Here at The Empty Nester Club, we’ve got your back and are ready to cheer you on! I can’t wait to hear about all of your progress! 

If you would like to go through this book with a community of like-minded, uplifting and supportive moms, we are starting a brand-new virtual book club November 25^th. I think it’s important for mothers to carve out a little personal time throughout the busy holiday season. Sign up here. We will be zooming for one hour on Monday, November 25^th, December 2^nd, 9^th, and 16^th, starting at 6pm MST. 

Let’s embrace this season of reflection and gratitude together!

Cheers!

P.S. If you would like to hear what people are saying about The Almost Empty Nester, hop over to Amazon or our website and read the reviews. I can’t wait to impact more of you as the year closes out, and as we head into 2025!